stuck

I have tons of things to blog. On many topics.  Instead of bouncing from topic to topic I will pick something each day and unload.
Today my health.  I've got to get it on track. But that's hard when the specialist can't get me in until February.  We've pretty much determined I have an autoimmune disease.  Which answers a lot but leaves a lot unanswered.  I don't want to use it add an excuse for any of my actions but I want to understand.  Some of these symptoms I've had since a teenager.  Others are new.  I've known something wasn't right but when test after test after test said I was fine and healthy as can be I got discouraged and sort of gave up. Then a week before thanksgiving my knees hurt.  Eventually bad enough I needed help to stand up and it hurt so bad I wanted to cry every step i took. This brought up flaws with previous doctors and the lead to the blood test to send me to the next specialist. They're thinking lupus.  And as long as it doesn't attack my viral organs I should be pretty okay to live like I have.  Although Losing this weight will likely help my joints in the long run.  I asked the doc about my weight a while back and was informed my blood work was so awesome the only thing I'd really need to lose the weight for was my view of myself.  From a health standpoint it wasn't causing issue.  Keep in mind here if look it up my bmi is a 41. Obese is anything above 30. Every time I try to go for a healthier lifestyle my hubby says oh hell no. We're a meat and potatoes kind of people.  And the kids usually cry they're starving (far from mind you).  But I don't have the will power to do this on my own.  I actually don't eat enough which is most of my problem. Ugh.  I try.  And I'll keep trying.  But damn.  We've all pretty much stayed away from fast food though. Maybe a one a month deal. Not being able to afford it helps.  Okay so I'm going to stop here today.  I basically just feel stuck right now in the health department. But I'm able to walk again and for that I'm ever so happy.  Amazing what a person takes for granted even when they don't think they do!